Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sending Items To Your Children

Due to recent confusion regarding what is acceptable to send your children, and when it is acceptable to send those things, we decided to remind you of IAN’s policies on this matter:

1. Do not send any items to a child before he or she has passed court!!! This is critically important, as the children are not aware of their new parents until after they’ve passed court. This is to avoid the heartbreak of disappointment in the unlikely event something were to go wrong in the process.

2. Please keep the gifts to the approved items: pictures of family, a small welcome book, small toys. Since the time between when you have passed court and the time that child is safely in your arms is a matter of weeks, no more than a few items are needed.

3. Please keep the other children in the orphanage and the care home in mind when you send gifts. Some of the children will not have been matched yet, others may have been matched with families who are unable to send anything, and still others will never be matched with a family. We do not want these children feeling left out or experiencing more pain, the simpler and less obvious the gifts are to our children the less we negatively affect the other children at the orphanage.

4. Please check with your coordinator before sending gifts with traveling families. It is wonderful families are so ready and willing to help one another out, but since the children are in the care of IAN and we are ultimately responsible for them, we need to be aware of what is being sent.

We are discouraged that we have to make this announcement, but we have seen many photos recently of children who have not passed court but who have photos, toys and other gifts from their families. We know that these items were never approved by IAN staff and, had we been consulted, would not have been approved – at least until court was passed. This is especially unfair to the families who are just as anxious to send things to their children but are following the rules instead.

Our policies come from 10 years of international adoption experience and exist for the well being of the children in the orphanages we work with- these children are always our priority and we know that you will continue to follow the policies that protect them.

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